Bumper Stickers I was having a pleasant drive home from work the other day when I found myself behind a forest green SUV. It was not the monstrous size or even the EX-treme mountaineering capabilities of the vehicle that caught my attention, but the three adornments on the rear bumper. There they were, filling my head with slogans and forcing me both to read, and to think about life, two activities that really should be avoided while operating a motor vehicle. A “got milk” bumper sticker, a Jesus fish, and another sticker reading “Rednecks Rule” across a confederate flag. Immediately I got to thinking. The great “got milk” campaign should not be limited to the mediums of television and print news when we could be asked that same burning question while stopped at a traffic light or cruising on the freeway. Now I wonder, do I have milk? Am I getting enough calcium? What would celebrities/dairy endorsers think about my own milk consumption habits? I bought a lot of soy milk this week – was that wrong of me? Tell me green SUV driver, how do I really “get” milk? Obviously you have a strong personal connection to milk and/or milk campaigns. What do you think about milk? When did you know you had finally gotten milk? Will I ever get milk?  All kidding aside, more than forcing me to explore my own milk habits, I thought long and hard about what could possibly prompt a person to place a “got milk” sticker on their car, for everyone to see. Sure, when the ads began appearing circa 1995, we all thought they bordered on “cute”, much better than the beef industry’s “Beef- it’s what’s for dinner.” But has this not gone on long enough? I see no reason for a regular person to contribute to the milk crusade. What does this sticker really say about you? If you support milk, keep it to yourself. Speaking of keeping things to yourself, I would like to ask a question to all you displayers of Jesus-fish/religious bumper stickers. Why? I can think of only two reasonable explanations to put such a thing on your car. (1) You believe that by putting your unwavering, adhesive faith “out there” for all to see, that in the event of a horrendous car crash He will see your commitment to the Lord and save you from a grisly death. (Or to a lesser extent, when He pulls you over for speeding, He will not give you a ticket.) or (2) You think that you might be able to convert some of the followers of less fortunate, hell-bound religions if they happen to be easily persuaded and positioned behind your car. “Say, I used to be Jewish…but after sitting at this light for three cycles, that fish is starting to make Christianity look absolutely delicious…” Honestly, I don’t know. If you want to discuss things like God, politics, or say, the issue of abortion, perhaps the bumper of your car is not the ideal forum with which to do so. It’s just a thought. Save those debates for when you’re trying to pick someone up in a bar, or sitting next to someone who is reading a book on an airplane. And as for “Rednecks Rule,” oh boy. What can I say about this besides, hellll yeah, they do! Weeeha!